Gen Z’s Boysober Movement: Ditching Hookups for Healing

This isn’t about celibacy, a religious sabbatical, or taking the moral high ground.

Coined by Brooklyn-based comedian Hope Woodard, “Boysober” is a modern take on a dating detox that’s resonating with Gen Z women. Many are growing weary of investing their emotions and energy into men who fail to show any real commitment or even plan a follow-up date.

The guidelines are flexible. The goal? To withdraw from dating, casual flings, and the emotional exertion tied to relationships with men—or anyone for that matter—and redirect that energy back to oneself. “You’re not truly sober if you’re still letting someone occupy your mental space,” Woodard explained during an appearance on the Savage Love podcast.

Unlike traditional notions of celibacy, Boysober doesn’t advocate for purity nor is it steeped in religious or shame-based rhetoric. It champions personal autonomy and rejects societal norms that expect women’s attention and bodies to be readily available. “I really dislike the term ‘celibacy,'” Woodard shared with The New York Times. “Boysober is about pausing, reflecting, and reshuffling priorities—not about seeking validation from men.”

What began as a comedic bit in Brooklyn has evolved into a significant cultural movement. On platforms like TikTok, the #Boysober hashtag showcases scores of women turning their backs on the dating scene in favor of personal clarity. Woodard herself has reflected on her own experiences, saying, “I’m somewhat angry at myself for all the sex I had that felt like it wasn’t fully my choice.”

Boysober is a counteraction to the exhaustion brought on by modern hookup culture. It’s designed for those fed up with being love-bombed, ghosted, benched, and breadcrumbed, along with the myriad other negative dating trends that continue to emerge.

This movement isn’t about abstaining from sex per se, but about redefining consent and learning to say no without feeling guilty.

Dana DuBois, a 53-year-old writer, spoke to Today about her own “mansober” period, which she says led to a more peaceful heart and a clearer mind. “I feel more in tune with my own desires and what I seek from relationships,” she stated. It’s less about renouncing love and more about not losing oneself in the pursuit of it.

You might call it a recovery from dating burnout, or perhaps emotional minimalism. Or maybe it doesn’t need a label at all. For many, Boysober isn’t about loss—it’s about resetting. And this time, the payoff is deeply personal.