4 Key Indicators You’re Susceptible to Gaslighting: Protect Yourself Now!

The term “gaslighting” has become a common buzzword if you spend any time on the internet these days.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines gaslighting as “an extremely effective form of emotional abuse that causes a victim to question their own feelings, instincts, and sanity, thereby giving the abusive partner substantial control (and we know that abuse is about power and control).”

This manipulation typically unfolds gradually, so subtly that the victim often doesn’t realize what’s happening until it’s too late. By the time the abuser has successfully made their partner doubt their own instincts and perceptions, they proceed with their abusive tactics, aware that their partner is now more emotionally susceptible. After all, a person who doubts their own judgment is an ideal target.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline also notes that gaslighting can involve several tactics such as withholding, countering, blocking/diverting, trivializing, and “forgetting”/denying. These behaviors may be hard to recognize, particularly for those who are more vulnerable to manipulation.

Here are four signs that you might be experiencing gaslighting.

1. You Constantly Second-Guess Yourself

It’s normal to experience some self-doubt, but if you find yourself constantly questioning your decisions, you may be losing touch with your intuition. Often, that inner voice or gut feeling is trying to guide and protect you. When you start to distrust your instincts, it’s easier to fall into the trap of believing that you are the problem, not the abusive behavior of your partner.

This vulnerability is why individuals with mental health challenges, such as OCD—often referred to as the chronic doubting disorder—are prime targets for gaslighting. If someone like me, who struggles with OCD, finds themselves in an unhealthy relationship, the consequences can be particularly severe.

2. You Feel ‘Too Invested’ In Your Relationship

…to the point where leaving seems impossible.

As Mark Travers, Ph.D., explains in his article for Psychology Today, “When someone is compulsively in need of love, they pour their whole selves into their relationship. This includes time, emotional energy, effort, finances, and sometimes even their whole identity. With so much invested, the idea of walking away feels like an enormous loss.”

Being in such a state can make you more inclined to endure abuse. However, no matter how much you’ve put into the relationship, it’s always possible to leave and seek professional help to rebuild your life.

3. You Label Yourself As ‘Too Sensitive’

If you’ve often been told you’re “too sensitive,” and you believe that your emotional depth is a flaw, then you may be more susceptible to gaslighting.

Invalidating your own feelings and experiences can lead you to think that others are more knowledgeable and rational than you are. Our emotions serve as signals, indicating areas where we might be exploited or overlooked. If you habitually dismiss those signals and place more trust in others than in yourself, you’re setting yourself up to be a potential victim of gaslighting.

4. You Feel Powerless In the Relationship

A relationship where one partner holds most or all of the power sets the stage for abuse. This dynamic is often present in cases of love addiction, where one partner is extremely attached and dependent on the other.

“The fear of losing such a relationship can be paralyzing,” Travers notes in his Psychology Today article. “This dependency can profoundly affect your ability to assert yourself in the relationship. You might find yourself compromising not just on trivial things but on fundamental values, all in an effort to keep the peace or prevent abandonment. You might ignore your own needs and tolerate unacceptable behavior.”

These compromises can lead to a sense of powerlessness, which makes one an easy target for manipulative tactics like gaslighting.